Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Dear Red States . . .

21st Century Nancy Drew : California centric? Yes. But funny? YES!! (emphasis added)
Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we'vedecided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we'retaking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the entire Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation,and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard and Princeton. You get University of Texas.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. Youget Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red statespay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get abunch of single moms.

How about that last stat, huh?

And then it goes on... See the link for details.

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